I found this thing in my pocket...I think it's Amanto technology. My 'typing' is still slow, but it's pretty neat to use it.

All you Amanto out there reading this, surrender peacefully and we won't kill you! I promise!



[ooc: Age reversal. Sakamoto is cursed into being his self as a teenager-- idealistic and conflicted young innovator with a fetish for foreign guns.]

HELLO, EVERYONE, HAHAHA! TOMORROW IS THE GRAND OPENING OF:

HAPPY HAPPY LUCKY LUCKY YES! MASTER CAFE!


An authentic maid and butler cafe! Come in and let us treat you richly! Menus are avalable for breakfast, lunch and light dinners! Hours are seven days a week from eleven AM to 5 PM.

COME IN AND GIVE US A RING!

Sorry for the delay for both employees and customers. We did all of the construction work ourselves. ♥ Employee checkin will be tomorrow morning, where you'll receive your checks for your paid training!

P.S.

Please hire the Yorozuya Gin-chan for all of your light construction needs, haha. We don't work for free, but we're damn near close to it!

B-beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, never you fear. Come on, Tatsuma, ahahahaha!



Did I just sleep through twenty-four hours of fitful yet strangely bittersweet nightmares?

Has anybody seen a young woman with hair the color of the sun setting over Mt. Fuji and my beautiful clear blue eyes?! She's run away recently, she's going through a...stage, I think-- haha, but I worry about her, because she's not very bright about some things like her mother, oh god, why does the truth hurt a very strong little girl, and I'd RATHER NOT GET SUED ANYTIME SOON!!



P.S.

Kintoki, you bastard, I BLAME THIS ON YOU. I HOPE GOD STRIKES YOU DOWN WITH METEORS.



[ooc: ALIEN ABDUCTION. EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT. Years ago Tatsuma hit on the wrong feminist alien chick in the wrong alien bar and woke up two weeks later outside of a suspicious-looking hospital. HE'S A SHE NOW. KIND OF.]

[Filtered from Sakata Gintoki]

Ahahaha, HA HA HA. I knew I was forgetting something!!

WHERE CAN I FIND THE CITY'S BEST PATISSIER?!

[/Filtered from Sakata Gintoki]


Construction and remodelling work is nearly finished on the City's fabulous new maid-themed cafe ♥. I suspect it will be ready for business soon, so all of those who expressed previous interest, training for positions will begin tomorrow!

Any new applicants interested in becoming a part of the family, please respond below, although this is by no means all's aboard who's coming aboard! ♥




Oh god. I think I have a cold. I think my brain is leaking out of my nose. I want a hug.

Who's coming?

LADIES?

Haha, I've eaten some of them.

Excel, think of your weaknesses as your strengths and get a new point of view on them.

Wakaba, if you want to be recognized, actions speak louder than words and sometimes money!

Fakir, don't think of how you might fail at protecting them. Think of the comfort your eyes on their back gives them when they run forward to the future.

Ahiru, what you look like isn't nearly as important as what you say and do.

Yuzu, don't think of that single memory as sad. We all want to be a good memory for people, no matter what they remember about us.

Nill, your heart and actions will always speak louder and truer than any words ever could.

Sentarou, every person is good for something! Don't try to fill a role you weren't meant for-- provide people with the skills you DO have.

Kaoru, you can never stop them from fighting. Just give them something worthwhile to fight for. Trust me.

Lacus, don't regret--never regret-- make amends in the ways you can.

Yuuko, fortune helps those who help themselves.

Ion, that's not foolish at all. In another light, it's admirable.

Vimes, you can't blame a cancer for nearly ruining a good man's life.

Mamori, love is not an action.

Megumi, all people are only as powerless as they let themselves be.

Kagura, enjoy yourself in place for now. If you leave once, you'll never want to stop leaving.

Marco, there are some things that some people weren't meant to do, but it's not true that second place is the first loser. The journey is more important than the result.

Basil, believe in what you can do for him instead.



Gintoki...



[ooc: strike was baleeted, because Vimes makes Sakamoto piss himself. |D ]

Apparently the China-san doesn't know what 'sex' is yet, even at her age, so I thought it might be useful to inform her and anyone else who doesn't quite understand! Understandable, I know there are some species who reproduce asexually and whatnot, hahaha...

You see, when a man and a woman or a woman and a woman or a man and a man or two sentient creatures of indeterminate gender like one another very much, after a while they want to get closer. So they have a little drink and then crawl into bed together and somebody usually inserts something into somewhere that feels nice. Afterwards, they love one another even more and decide to perform a legally binding ceremony of religious or secular meaning wherein they promise to share one another's sadness and happiness and liquid and non-liquid assets, sometimes with a financial agreement in case of emergency.

Then they live happily ever after!

Kondo Isao, my very reliable drinking partner, has just informed us that there are A-A-ALIENS IN OUR MIDST. Please avoid any people with panda-like markings around their eyes, that's how you know they've been infected with the MAN-EATING PARASITIC ALIEN WORMS!!

I feel the need to inform you all that EVERYTHING IS FINE! And there is NO NEED TO PANIC because the alien is JUST AN ILLUSION! And if it's just an illusion, it can't hurt you, so you can just leave it alone and ignore it, haha!

So just LAUGH AND HAVE A GLASS OF BARLEY TEA, HAHAHA!


Oh god. I want my mother.

You know, hahaha, the other day when I was coming out of an okama bar I saw a young man with hair the color of an orange cat's fur, brown eyes and a medium build leave the place and forget his wallet. Whoever it was, if you could please send me a message I'll be glad to return it to you!




[ooc: for Ishida, rumors about Kurosaki Ichigo get.]

GINTOKI, I HAVE AN IDEA!

Hahaha, is there anyone in this City, male or female, willing to dress up in a maid or butler uniform and serve hot meals to honest citizens?! Also searching for cooks!

[Voice Post]


HAHAHA! Has anyone seen my shoes?


[/Voice Post]


[ooc: in the middle of the City, near the fountain. Barefoot. Hittin' on ur wimminz.]

I used to think people could change if you gave them enough encouragement, but now I realize people never change. They're always the same, inside. They just choose to make different decisions in different situations.


Sadly I seem to be making the same decisions. And now I'm all out of booze.


I hope Gintoki is alright.

[Accidental Voice Post]

Sakura-chan~ I bought you a pony!

Hahahaha-- oh--oh god.

[retching noises]

[Accidental Voice Post]




[ooc: he really did, too.]

People! Haha!

Where in this place can I find a lawyer or a whatever who's capable of creating a legally binding document, like, say, a marriage license and etcetera?


He's getting too close to another brown-haired pilot! I think this may very well be an action of jealousy, but I don't care, hahaha!

Sakura-chan helped me out again this evening, and she treated me to another show! This time, she even let me have a ride with her beautiful



♥





[ooc: I spam because poly loves a pedo and sakura-mun asked me for the lolz <3]

Hahaha, they've been calling me a nobody so much recently, but now that that's all over with, I'd like to make a note to the cute little ladies that they've probably met me before! Remember that dream you had of the perfect guy for you the other night, haha?

I bet it was me!

ETA: Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, high blood pressure, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!

You know, after hearing his name being brought up and then lumped into a larger group in the context of incompetents, clowns, the inexperienced, ne'er-do-wells, power-grabbers and general jokes, a man is liable to start to get a little cranky. Is that okay?! Am I allowed to be kind of angry about this? I'm pulling out anyway, but it would be nice to NOT BE IGNORED WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO DELIVER A MESSAGE ONCE IN A WHILE. I REALLY HOPE SOME OF GET YOU STRUCK DOWN BY THE HEAVENS WITH LIGHTNING BOLTS OR SOMETHING. I should vote for the bite-to-death kid just to spite you all!

I think I'm pulling out of this race. I really do appreciate your confidence, Kou-chan, I do, but honestly holding an office means taking on responsibilities like not coming in whenever you feel like it and not coming in hung over when you do. Also, I don't want to give anybody else a reason to try to kill me.

You know, after considering everything carefully, that Vimes fellow seems to be the best candidate.

Although to be completely honest, Sawada Tsunayoshi-kun would be an ideal candidate in ten years, and should we all still be around by then-- knock on wood --I would be glad to give him my full support. ♥


[ooc: strikes totally hackable. totally. sakamoto <3 passive-aggressive]